Do you Think When you Work Hard for Something you Really Want, That the Reward is Worth all your Hard Work? Or is it Better to Just Get What you Want, When you Want it?
This question is, I think, one of the major problems our generation has. We all just want instant gratification, unwilling to put any work in for the things we want. Just give it to us now, end of story. People forget what it feels like to work for something. To earn the gratification of having put in effort to achieve a goal, meet an end, to obtain something of value. I firmly believe that if you work hard for something, once you achieve it, it will be a high unlike anything you could ever experience. It’s a very obvious answer, I feel. This challenge is now complete! I’m running out of challenges to do.
-J
Do you Keep a Personal Journal? What Sort of Stuff do you Put in it? Do you Care if Others See it?
My personal journal IS my Tumblr. Or at least, that’s as personal as it gets with me, aside from my own dealings with people and myself. Going along with the question, a cursory glance at my blog would reveal this: there’s lots of Go Radio, a variety of music, a LOT of challenges, and a lot more personal posts than most other folks. And obviously, if I cared that people saw it, I wouldn’t post most of these things in such an intimate place. I don’t post every little thought that crosses my mind, of course, because some things are just too personal to share with the world, and let’s face it, it’s a bit obnoxious. It’s not like, as it has been said before, every thought that flows out of our head is a priceless gem that must be documented. But other than that, no, I don’t have a “personal” journal.
-J
How do you Think your Friends Judge you? How Would a Complete Stranger Judge You? Why?
Well I would like to at least HOPE that a friend wouldn’t judge me in any way other than a joking manner. Even with strangers, they don’t really have any place to be judging, no one does. But we all do so, without even being aware of the fact. We subconsciously judge and categorize everyone and everything we come in contact with. However, even with that in mind, I honestly could care less what strangers’ preconceived notions of me are. Unless you’re going to potentially give me a job, then I could really care less. I do what I do, and that’s all there is to it.
-J
Do you Tell it How it is, or Keep your Thoughts to Yourself? Which do you Think is Best?
As much as I toot my own horn over my ability to artfully play on words, more often in writing but sometimes in speaking, I bite my tongue more often than I let it run freely. This isn’t necessarily out of fear of what I say, it’s more of the way I tend to say things. I’m rather blunt, and my words come across a lot more painful that I intend them to. I don’t try to be mean, I really don’t. Sometimes my tongue gets the best of me, and I always end up having to correct what I say because of it. Honesty in general is not always nice, the truth can pack an powerful punch. It just seems that with me, whenever I say something truthful, I pack it with a lot more of a sting, intentional or otherwise. However, I also ironically firmly believe people should be honest about how they’re feeling, because no good really comes from keeping things bottled up within. The messes that come from honesty may destroy relationships, but what kind of relationship is built on lies anyways? Yes, it’s a bit of a conundrum coming from my typically complete opposite actions, but for argument’s sake, let’s just leave this thought with, “Honesty, painful as it may be, is always the best option.”
-J
Do you get Jealous of your Friends Easily? If you do, How Come?
In a sense, yes I do. Passing snaps of jealousy in terms of an inferiority complex or something to that effect don’t really happen. However, I do feel much stronger pangs of jealousy whenever friends hang out and I’m not invited, or even notified of it. This is especially true when a) I was absolutely bored during that time and/or doing nothing of value at the time and thereby available to hang, and b) they talk about it in from of me afterwards and make it sound like the most amazing thing ever. The sad part here would be, I’m always busy, sure, but I also make plenty of time to hang out, and the reality is, I go out a lot more than I even realize. It’s not like I stay home every day or anything, nor do I only hang with one person or anything like that. I think the jealousy really ties into my actual complex of thinking people secretly dislike me. If I ever were to push past that, then I think I wouldn’t be bitter about such a stupid thing.
-J
Honestly Now, if you Could Change Three Things About You (Looks, Personality, etc.), What Would They be and Why?
This is the only question I can’t answer outright. As much as I’m a firm, unwavering advocate for loving everything about yourself, in my weakest moments, even I have faults I wish weren’t there. Although all my faults are more mental than physical. What I am dissatisfied with physically, I’m changing in a healthy manner by going to the gym on a near daily basis. I don’t necessarily count that as a negative, because it’s my shape, and not something I was born with, that I’m changing.
In any case, I wish I wasn’t so hard on myself, and that I wouldn’t rip myself to shreds at the smallest blow. I’m my own worst critic, and sometimes it just doesn’t work to my benefit as it should. I wish that I had confidence in myself, in every facet of myself. My abilities, my body, me. Too many times have I not done something out of such a fear. I wish that I would remember that I suffer some delusions of grandeur, and as such, not everyone is out to get me. In all these ways, I just wish my mind didn’t play tricks on me. I’m my own worst enemy, and I’ve yet to get the best of me.
-J
What Would be the Best Thing that Could Happen in your Life Right Now? Is This Possible or Just an Unrealistic Dream?
Right now, the best thing that could happen is for me to be inflicted with overwhelming confidence. I’m so close to graduation, and I’m sorry that I talk so much about all of this, but it freaks me out. For my confidence to have been so thoroughly shaken this close to the end could not have been more inopportune. What I really need right now is that confidence boost to get me back up there. Normally, such a wish isn’t out of the realms of realism, but history serves to prove me otherwise. It’s going to take a lot more time for me to get to a confident point. I realize that now, that if anything is going to stick, I’m simply going to need a lot more time. Time to practice, to fail some more, and maybe succeed somewhere. It has to be a sign, that I’ve kept going after all this time, so I hope that at some point, I won’t be scared, and that I’ll be confident in my work.
-J
What do you Think is the Most Backwards Thing of Today’s Society? In your View, How Could This be Changed?
To me, it would have to be the perception of men as badasses for having sex with lots of different partners, but women are whores for having sex with more than two different people. I understand that this view comes from an archaic “desire” to keep women pure until marriage, and so they’re automatic whores as soon as they open their legs. However, I don’t have to be the one to openly state that this is just, really barbarically stupid. Double standards in general are so backwards to me, because there’s no basis behind them other than what’s become “socially acceptable” in western civilization. The only way for this to change is for mainstream thinking to change drastically, which will only take place when people let go of ancient beliefs. I’d like to believe that this is already taking place as we speak, but it will take some time for this thinking to change.
-J
Do you Care about People Living in the Third World? Should more People Care and do Things Like Donate to Charities, etc.?
Not to pull a bitch Tumblr move, but you have to be heartless not to care about such things. Me, personally, I’ve visited my home country of El Salvador a few times in my life. I’ve seen what it’s like in a place less better off. Kids in the streets with nowhere to live, wandering around and begging for food and money. Poverty abound, a lot of homeless individuals without jobs. A lot of people make a living out of their house, selling food, or they wander the populated areas selling food they make (that is legitimate hustling). It’s really something that is hard to describe, unless you’ve actually seen it. El Salvador is not even a third world country, per se, probably second world by “modern standards.” There are malls, and freeways, and a lot of tourist attractions. But the country in itself is a poor one. My mom sends all of my old clothes that don’t have any sentimental value, and other things down to her family back at home, just to help.
I do think people should be more conscious of how good their lives are here in the states. If you have access to the internet, a TV, food, water, and you don’t have to struggle for it, you should be damn grateful, period. You are way more fortunate than most of the rest of the world; it could’ve turned out a helluva lot worse for you. You could be in fear of disease, famine, of dying at any moment. You should be grateful for how lucky you are, living here, because there are plenty of people who would kill to live here, plenty who would risk their lives to have a spot here. Trade a day with one of them, and maybe you won’t complain about petty things. Also, if you have clothes, toys, anything that you no longer have a use for, they’ll have a use again if they’re donated. As I’ve said multiple times before, you owe it to the world to do what you can to make the world a better place.
-J
What’s the Best Thing about Being your Age? What’s the Worst?
I personally don’t think there’s anything particularly special about being twenty. Besides the transition from teenager into adulthood (even though that’s typically seen from the ages of seventeen to eighteen), there isn’t much else to it. There’s still a year left to legally drink, and unless you’ve been under a rock for the last few years, you’ve been expanding your horizons since around eighteen years of age, so being twenty doesn’t really bring anything new to the table. To me, it’s one of the last in-between years you’ll experience, 21 being the last major milestone year. After that, there’s no other milestone, other than soon being able to legally rent a car.
-J
Do you ever Really Learn From your Mistakes?
Now here’s a pretty interesting question. In theory, no one likes to make mistakes, and therefore, we do our best to avoid them from happening in the first place. If a mistake does befall us, depending on the severity of said mistake, and other extraneous circumstances, it should be ingrained in us to never do anything to fall under a similar situation and repeat the mistake from happening ever again, especially if it’s something that’s so mortifying, or nearly dangerous. When it is put that way, it’s all cut and dry, sweet and simple. However, if you’ve lived any bit of life, it doesn’t come this easy. I personally can advocate that bit of truth. In my life, I would always go out to hang with friends or something to that effect. I would be out into the wee hours of the night, sometimes staying out all night, crashing at a friend’s house. Through it all, I would forget (or avoid) to call home to tell them where I’ve gone or what I’m doing. Nine times out of ten, what I was going was perfectly innocent, and the only reason I avoided calling home was because it always led into a shouting match with my mom about me never being home. She loved me to be at home all the time, says I was wasting my life constantly going out. Eventually, things would reach a head, usually after me not being home for a few days, or me leaving everyday and just not being around at all. I would come home to an intense screaming match, I’d regret my actions, and the first few times, I’d be on top of calling and all that jazz. But eventually, it’d be like nothing happened. So in that regard, I didn’t really learn, because I kept doing it. I guess in my mind, the positive vibe of hanging always outweighed the screaming match that was looming at the opening of my front door. So I guess in short, do your best in not following my lead.
-J
How has Your School Life Been Throughout the Years?
Preschool, nothing really to say about it. My mom loves to tell the story of how I was very calm my first day of school. That first day, I apparently happily told her to go home, and that I’d see her later in the afternoon, promptly making a beeline towards the toys. I wasn’t a sobbing, terrified mess like nearly every other kid in the room was. Nearly all of us have fond memories of a simpler time. A time when they’d give us candy during nap time, where blocks created whole civilizations and sprawling metropolises, of recess, and all the time spent outdoors, enjoying the sunlight and the play. And somehow through it all, we were learning, even though we were completely unaware of it.
When I was in elementary school, I was somewhat of an intellectual prodigy. I was one of the smartest kids in the whole school, never had detention ever, never missed a single day of school. Even when I was sick, I would always go to school (although that was mostly because mom made me go regardless). When I think about it, this doesn’t say much on my part because as much as I absolutely loved my elementary school, it was pretty ghetto, so its standards weren’t exactly tough. That aside, I had it pretty easy as a kid. I didn’t have a bully at that point in time, I was pretty much liked by everyone, known by almost everyone. It was an easy, chill life, especially 5th grade, when I was allowed to go on one of the computers basically whenever, I got hella candy from my teacher, and I was just enjoying my time. This definitely inflated my ego in a way. It bred me to believe I was smart and privileged. I hadn’t learned the finer points of earning anything, things just came to me easy.
Middle school rolls around, and I was unbelievably nervous that first day. I had my mom come with me, like most kids do in preschool (although I wasn’t the only one to do this). For the most part, middle school was relatively smooth sailing. Besides a couple incidents of me being physically attacked, and twice when my PE clothes were stolen out of my locker, and a couple bullies who picked on me from time to time, it wasn’t too bad. I do remember that this was around the time when my intellect kind of bottomed out. Come 8th grade, I was still in a couple of GATE classes, but not as many as others. It actually made me a bit bitter not being able to get into some of the classes, having been praised so much earlier in life about it.
High school, the first two years were a bit hellish (as it tends to be for most kids). I had one particularly bad bully in Freshman year who made sixth period a living hell. Junior and senior year, however, were amazing. I was in some of the Honors classes throughout, but I only took one AP class. It was at that point that I came to terms with my brain, and I was content with it. To be honest, part of the reason I wanted the “smart” classes was the company. In those rooms, I felt the people were friendly, and most were friends. The regular classes, in my experience, were filled with brutes and assholes that I did not want to deal with. I took NJROTC the entirety of my high school career, a decision made on a whim that I came to absolutely relish. Those years, hectic and crazy as they were, have some of my fondest memories.
And now, I’m in college. Senior in college, with exactly 2 months until my last day of class. College actually showed me how easy I had it in grade school. I can do nearly nothing in a class, and still get a high B (low A if brown nosing was involved). A work ethic like that obviously doesn’t fly at the higher level, and I’ve had my ass handed to me in more than few classes. But somehow, I made it through. My class started with roughly 20 heads, and now we’re almost down to half that number. I survived, and I will soon walk out of these doors with my Bachelors at the age of 20, a month before I hit my 21st year of life. Even though my time here is short, it still does not feel like it’s coming up soon. I still feel like I have so much left to do, but soon it’ll be all over. It’s absolutely mind-boggling.
-J
Do you Think it’s Better to Have a few Close Best Friends or to Have a lot of Acquaintances? Which do you Have?
This answer is rather obvious. It’s way better to invest your time in a few close friends, and have many acquaintances as well. At least when it comes to my industry, your next job can come from anywhere, so a big circle is pertinent. Between the two, few best friends over many acquaintances any day. Personally, more often than not, I feel like I have a mess of acquaintances as opposed to a few close best friends, or a combination of both. It definitely feeds my loneliness complex something fierce, it’s not too fun.
-J
How Would you Like your Life to Change Over the Next Few Years? How Come?
A few years, ambiguous as the word can be, isn’t much time, and a long stretch of it as well, which is also very strange in itself as well. Ramblings aside, ideally, there’s plenty I would love to have. A job in my field, my own place, a mess of pets, all things I’ve talked about before. These things aren’t so much changes as they are desires. What I would love to change in my life in a few years (or even now for that matter); what I would love to be different more than anything in the world, is for my parents to be more open about who I am and for me to be able to talk to them about my personal life, the way my sister does about her boyfriend. I just wish I could do the same. I wish it wasn’t so taboo, and that for that taboo to go away so maybe I could be more comfortable at home, more free to talk. As much as that may not happen, that would be great to me.
-J
Do you Believe in Social Classes?
Now this is a rather strange question, as it can mean more than a few things. The question could be asking if I believe in the validity of “social classes” (which I’m assuming means classes like sociology, anthropology, and the like). It can also mean if I believe in social classes, like upper, middle, and lower class (and all the in-betweens). It may refer to a belief in government, social structures and conventions in general. There’s more to list but I don’t want to answer ALL of the possibilities. Social classes such as sociology are perfectly valid ventures with important implications in our society. Upper, middle, and lower class, I’m not sure if I’d say I “believe” in them. However, it’s way better than being socialist because I want to earn my money, earn my A, and I’d like to keep my earnings as I see fit, and not have it divvied up out of my control. Now, when it comes to government, I believe that in a perfect world, it should exist to serve the people and the minute that stops being the case, it must be overthrown for a better system, simply put. Now, with social convention, I just find the entire notion of it rather fascinating. What we define as socially acceptable, is so hardwired into our DNA, by our families, friends, civilization in general, that we don’t even think about it. There are things you do, and things you don’t do, end of story. But even so, I find myself thinking of a different place, where handshakes are insults, and middle fingers are reserved for the deepest level of intimacy. My explanation may be a bit convoluted, but there you have it.
-J
