Confession #28
In my entire life, the one thing I’ve ever truly wanted was a brother. Although it’s obvious at this point that I’ll never have an older brother (at least not by blood), and it’s more than likely definitely too late for a younger one to be born, I crave that feeling of sibling closeness with someone on this green earth. I guess I just want that feeling with anyone really. It’s probably why I take it so mentally hard, when a friend in general, or anyone for that matter, doesn’t reply to my messages or calls or anything of that sort. It’s just something I’ve always wanted so badly.
-J
Confession #27
When I was a child, I used to build race tracks to push my cars through. I would use legos to line the edges of the road, build bridges, and tunnels. Sometimes I used cushions and other toys as part of the track or as set pieces in my designs. I even went as far as to draw out my finished designs in a little journal, giving it a clever little name too. I think my ultimately goal was to send them to Nintendo so that they could use my ideas in their next racing game (obviously, I played a lot of Mario Kart haha). I never did send those designs, but maybe now I can make them in a 3D space on my own at some point soon. I have a lot of fond memories creating them.
-J
Confession #26
I really have not been on top of these, I’m sorry. Well I’ll leave a doozy: about 13 or so years ago, right around the time where there was a rash of kidnappings in Vallejo, my sister and I nearly became victims of that spree. This guy asked us if we needed a ride home while we were walking from school (it was only a few blocks away). Lucky, my mom was just around the corner, and we ran straight towards her. I don’t know if she knew what almost happened, I didn’t tell her, and I don’t think she heard that man’s words. The gravity of what could’ve happened never quite hit me, maybe because the guy didn’t do anything violent, or forceful to try and take us. Regardless, it’s a very scary thought.
-J
Confession #25
When I overthink about things that are going to happen, I tend to suffer from delusions of grandeur. I guess I’m more narcissistic than it seems.
Confession #24
I’m really shy when it comes to talking to people on the phone, especially strangers like insurance agents or customer support. (A Secret)
Confession #23
Whatever. I despise that word. As a stand-alone sentence, I absolutely hate it. No matter the context, it instantly makes me feel like the person doesn’t care in the least. It’s painful to hear. And inversely, if I ever use that word, I’m in a state where I’m not be fucked with.
Confession #22
My ghetto side/drag persona should I ever decide to do drag is named Kiki. True story.
-J
Confession #21
I’m very forgetful and very scatterbrained, which in my case also unfortunately means that I have a terrible knack for losing things. I’ve lost some pretty valuable things too; it always happens like this: I have the object, I draw a complete and utter blank, and I have no idea where said object is. It kinda sucks a lot.
-J
Handwrite whatever you want with a blue/red pen
Confession #19
Although I never learned to swim, I’ve always loved water. When I look at my first memories, in the apartments I lived at before my family moved, there was a river right next to us, and I always went to the riverbank to sit, and watch the water, and throw rocks and anything else with weight into the water, for the splash and the sound. To this day, throwing rocks into lakes and rivers is still strangely therapeutic to me. I was able to find one place in my hometown where I can do this, a semi-secret place. A haven for me. I haven’t been there in years, until a few days ago. It was one of most relaxing feelings I’ve had in a long time.
-J
Confession #18
When I was younger, I actually did not like playing video games. I thought it was too complicated and too scary (both in the literal sense, and in the intimidation of conquering the controls). Rather, I liked watching people play games a lot more. I remember once I asked one of my uncles to play the SNES and he plugged it all up, gave me the controller, and I just looked at him funny. It wasn’t until my mom got me and my sister the N64 that I began to game with passion, traveling the worlds of Banjo-Kazooie and Super Mario 64. :]
-J
Confession #17
Some of you guys may know this, but for the rest, I basically willingly lost my ability to speak spanish. When I was a little kid, I would say pelo (hair) instead of perro (dog) when talking about our dog. I couldn’t roll my R’s. For some reason, my parents found it very funny to put me in the spotlight when relatives visited or when we went to visit them, and make me say words that emphasize the R just to laugh at my “speech impediment.” Words like rosa (rose), I’d grow to hate. I was so embarrassed and upset, that I refused to speak spanish for a couple of years. And since I stopped speaking, I eventually forgot a lot of the words and dialect and such. The biggest kick in the gut to me was that when my parents saw that I lost my tongue, they got mad at me, as though it were my fault. Admittedly, it partly is. But I don’t think they know that they’re the reason I stopped speaking spanish. As of today, I regained a bit of what I lost, but I’m nowhere near as comfortable as I was before all this happened. This is partly why I have no accent, and more than likely why when people first meet me, they think I’m white. I would love to gain it all back. It ain’t easy though.
-J
Confession #16
When I was younger, I had an incredibly strong fear of being lost, abandoned, and left behind. And I don’t mean in the figurative sense, I mean literally. Whenever I went to the store with my parents, and I’d get separated from them (I was easily distracted. More so than I am now), I’d seriously be in tears from panicked hysterics. Waiting for them to pick me up after school, up until high school, also made me unbelievably nervous and scared. I was typically picked up half an hour after school got out, and so I was one of the last ones to be picked up from school. I was always afraid that they weren’t going to come for me. Looking back, I don’t know why I was so scared, especially since I love being out and adventuring nowadays. It’s so crazy to me, I was just terrified of being forgotten.
-J
